Television and movies would have you believe that divorce almost always involves a scandal, a fight or a shouting match. It is generally portrayed as a “last resort,” in which partners are expected to sacrifice the essence of who they are for their sake of their children and the pride of their families.
However, ending an unhealthy and unhappy marriage could be an act of self love. Despite the challenges that filing for divorce brings, there are also opportunities for pursuing that which brings you joy and fulfillment; this can ultimately create a happier environment for you and your children.
When you know that your marriage isn’t working, choosing divorce can be the hardest decision you make, but it can also be the most loving thing you can do for you and your spouse.
Here are ways to help you navigate the decision around divorce and make the process less about shame and more about love.
There is no shame in choosing love
Yes, you want the happily ever after ending that you watched growing up—but your efforts that have gone into creating this hollywood-like ending for your marriage have run its course. You and your spouse have grown too far apart, and have lost yourselves in the painful process of “making it work.” For your parents, for your pride, and for the kids.
The thought of breaking up your family and adopting a life of custody battles, child support, lonely holidays and depressed children for the sake of being happy feels selfish. To make matters worse, you’re not confident that your spouse feels the same and the thought of breaking their heart adds to your guilt. You fear those you love may not understand and so you stay.
However, not all divorces end in heartache, and when you choose to love yourself, you are not automatically subjected to a life of hardship. In fact, by letting go of a relationship filled with contention, guilt, and resentment, you’re giving your spouse permission to pursue their own journey to self-love. Your children, as a result, have the potential to be raised by two happy parents, which supports their own health and happiness.
Though the preliminary decision making process is difficult, choosing to give yourself what you need to live a happy and healthy life can ultimately benefit everyone involved.
Once you make that decision, there are steps you can take to make the divorce process easier, beginning with hiring a family law attorney whose focus is guiding both you and your partner towards an amicable, and even loving divorce.
Benefits of hiring the right family law attorney
Once you have exhausted resources like individual and marriage counseling, divorce may be the only option to resolve the chronic issues that exist within your life and marriage.
Because the transition can provoke feelings of resentment, loneliness, and anger for everyone involved, it is important to consult with legal counsel who can help you and your spouse dissolve your marriage as smoothly as possible. This will allow you to focus on beginning the healing process you and your family need to move forward.
Even if you and your spouse are in agreement to initiate divorce proceedings, legal matters like custody and visitation, support, and other priority issues should be discussed in the presence of a family lawyer who will provide legal advice based on your unique case.
The following can decrease the time it takes to begin your path to happiness:
- Provide clear-cut definition of your rights
While your friends and family may have strong opinions on divorce, their advice may not apply to your case. A family law attorney plays a vital role in providing you with an objective view of the proceedings while informing you of the potential impact of your decisions. A lawyer is able to see the big picture based on their experience in helping other families navigate a similar road.
- Timely Filing of Paperwork
When you initiate a divorce case, there are time restrictions involved in filing the right documents. An experienced lawyer will serve as your guide to understanding what documents are essential and how you should file them. If done incorrectly, this can delay finalizing the divorce process.
- Saves you Money
Once you file for divorce, the process can become quite expensive. Not having a knowledgeable family lawyer can lead to unforeseen costs. An experienced lawyer can minimize your expenses through mediation and fair litigation.
Break the Cliché of Divorce
While most people intend to stay married forever, the purpose is often to create a happy and healthy environment in which to raise a loving family. Should the marriage become an inhibitor to the goals you and your spouse created, you do not need to be ashamed in dissolving the unhappy marriage.
The next step in preserving the relationships themselves and finding happiness again is to see legal counsel. In a time where self-love is encouraged in supporting mental, emotional, and physical health, so too should choosing divorce be accepted as an act of self-love.
There is no failure in trying, and recognizing when it’s time to let go. On the contrary, choosing happiness should be viewed as success.
Dissolution of Marriage Doesn’t Have To Be Destructive
If you and your spouse tried to reconcile your marriage and cannot find the love and happiness that existed once upon a time, you may feel defeated. Or even worse, you may feel stuck. We want you to know, you’re not alone. There are family law attorneys who can help you determine the next steps in your relationship, and walk you through them.
Choosing divorce, at the core, can be an act of love. Love for yourself, your spouse, and your children who are more likely to thrive in two happy homes.
If you’re ready to move forward, we can help. Alaimo Boyer is a family law practice that provides compassionate legal counsel for families in San Diego. Our law firm has years of experience helping people like you navigate family law matters to achieve a fair resolution that allows you and your family to move forward with peace. Schedule a consultation so we can clearly discuss your legal options and equip you with possible choices.